Rusted Sky

We started talking the other night about fortunes you REALLY don't want to get.

Here are some of the more memorable.

You ARE left-handed, correct?

Call an ambulance. Quickly!

Antibiotics will be needed soon.

Your future? On the good side, you'll be able to part out your car and pay the doctor.

Any of your friends have a stomach pump?

Your life insurance IS paid up, isn't it?

That mole on your neck? Get it checked ASAP.

Be careful on the stairs tonight.

The beneficiary of your life insurance policy is about to collect a windfall.

The scar won't be that notable.

Your wife knows about your girlfriend.

Your wife knows about your boyfriend.

Don't worry - kneecaps are highly overrated.

Divorce - painful once, second time not so much.

Move left three feet to avoid the ... oh. Too late.

Are you sure that extension cord was UL approved? You'll find out tonight, one way or the other.

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Watch out for the UPS van.

The Red Cross called. They want to talk about your last donation.

Did you attach that shelf to the studs in the wall? Oops. Doesn't look like it.

J.