Honestly, I don't know what to say. I'm torn between sympathy for her grief and puzzlement. As a parent, no one wants to think of their child dying - it's just ingrained in us that we protect them any way we can.
But there's also a point where it's time to let go and let the child make their own decision - she's acting like her son (who was a volunteer - the draft went away a long time ago) didn't have a clue before he joined up that the Army was anything more than a glorified jobs program.
Sure, it's a great educational opportunity and a chance to see the world. But the subtext is there (and always has been) that if necessary you'll be going into harm's way. And there's a reason why there's Serviceman's Group Life Insurance - to provide for your family if you die. ($250,000 - last I checked. Might be higher now...) I don't know if she was the main beneficiary or not - but it's a good bet he left her a good bit.
Dr. Sanity has an interesting post up on all this. Portions follow:
Let me start by saying that I passionately support the rights of the individual over the rights of the state. When it comes to choosing between them, I almost always will go with "the needs of the one" as opposed to the "needs of the many" (to borrow a theme from Star Trek).
Yet, I am deeply troubled by the press's attitude that our foreign policy as a nation should be held hostage to grief stricken mothers, fathers, family and miscellaneously bereaved individuals.
Anyone's death diminishes me, as the poem says, and death--while something we all must face in time--is always a tragedy when it occurs. The death of a loved one is particularly difficult to handle, and grief is a multilayered and deeply personal journey. Professionally I deal with the emotional after-effects of death and dying all the time. I work closely with people who must grapple with despair and lonliness after their son or daughter, mother or father, husband or wife has died. Some deal with it better than others; and every journey is unique.
...
I may be a Libertarian, but I am not an anarchist. There are reasons for people to come together into a nation for that common defense and to constuct a government in order to provide for that defense. Our national foreign policy must be made using the same dispassionate analysis of facts and data, combined with an assessment of the "common good". That combined focus must be grounded in a logical understanding of both short and long-term tactics within an overal strategy and an appreciation of the costs (whether in dollars or lives) as well as the potential benefits. Of course there must be debate and discussion of both tactics and strategy, as well as whatexactly and precisely is in our best interest as a group of people united in freedom and democracy.
What we do not need is a public flogging of our elected officials by the bereaved and mourning families of 9/11; or by the histrionic mothers of soldiers who made their own choices to be in the military; by the angry fathers who are deeply distressed that their sons did not politically agree with them and chose to go into danger. Our national policies are far too important to be held hostage by the emotions of any individuals, let alone those who have an emotional axe to grind.
...
Crucial decisions and tactical adjustments can be made by a death or deaths in a war; sometimes even the overall strategy can be fine-tuned, or even abandoned if necessary when looked at in the spirit of determining what our national and security interests demand. But none of these actions can or should be made simply because of grief; or anger; or resentment; or fear.
Let's face the truth: that the purpose of maintaining an army/navy/air force is to provide for the common defense. Those individuals who CHOOSE to join the military do so (one hopes) with a full awareness of what their job description entails in war, as well as in peacetime. Their death or injury while performing a dangerous, but crucial job on our behalf, should make all of us at home, safe, desperately grateful that they chose to serve their country in this manner. How does it help us to say that there is nothing worth sacrifice; nothing that is worth fighting for?
When I was in, I knew that I stood a fair chance of being killed on short notice. Hell, I worked and lived on a missile base - the only way I could have been on a surer target was to camp out on top of a Minuteman silo, in the center of the Pentagon or on the White House lawn. I don't know about you, but being at ground zero for a nuke would likely be one of the quicker ways to shuffle off this mortal coil.
That being said, if it had come to pass that I'd died on active duty or while in the active Reserve, I wouldn't have expected my folks to use my death to campaign for ending whatever conflict or event that caused my death. (Except in a MADD sense, if I'd been run over by a drunk or something.) And I find it hard to believe that Army Specialist Casey Sheehan would find his mother's actions appropriate here - or even justifiable.
Peace is desireable. I'm against 'Peace at any price' because you need to determine the price you're willing to pay. It often strikes me that the peace crowd seem to be (and this is my impression, don't have any facts to back it up) of the same persuasion as the folks who used to counsel women that if they're raped that they shouldn't fight back, because it might make the rapist mad at you. I don't know whether that advice is still in vogue today but the same principle doesn't apply in international politics.
Cindy Sheehan has found folks who are willing to tell her that her son was killed for nothing. They're using her as a figurehead - and she'll be discarded as soon as she's no longer useful. I fully support her right to protest - though I think she's being very badly advised in this matter.
However, Mohammed over at Iraq the Model has some different thoughts for her.
I realize how tragic your loss is and I know how much pain there is crushing your heart and I know the darkness that suddenly came to wrap your life and wipe away your dreams and I do feel the heat of your tears that won't dry until you find the answers to your question; why you lost your loved one?
I have heard your story and I understand that you have the full right to ask people to stand by your side and support your cause. At the beginning I told myself, this is yet another woman who lost a piece of her heart and the questions of war, peace and why are killing her everyday. To be frank to you the first thing I thought of was like "why should I listen or care to answer when there are thousands of other women in America, Iraq and Afghanistan who lost a son or a husband or a brother…”
But today I was looking at your picture and I saw in your eyes a persistence, a great pain and a torturing question; why?
I know how you feel Cindy, I lived among the same pains for 35 years but worse than that was the fear from losing our loved ones at any moment. Even while I'm writing these words to you there are feelings of fear, stress, and sadness that interrupt our lives all the time but in spite of all that I'm sticking hard to hope which if I didn't have I would have died years ago.
Ma'am, we asked for your nation's help and we asked you to stand with us in our war and your nation's act was (and still is) an act of ultimate courage and unmatched sense of humanity.
Our request is justified, death was our daily bread and a million Iraqi mothers were expecting death to knock on their doors at any second to claim someone from their families.
Your face doesn't look strange to me at all; I see it everyday on endless numbers of Iraqi women who were struck by losses like yours.
Our fellow country men and women were buried alive, cut to pieces and thrown in acid pools and some were fed to the wild dogs while those who were lucky enough ran away to live like strangers and the Iraqi mother was left to grieve one son buried in an unfound grave and another one living far away who she might not get to see again.
We did nothing to deserve all that suffering, well except for a dream we had; a dream of living like normal people do.
We cried out of joy the day your son and his comrades freed us from the hands of the devil and we went to the streets not believing that the nightmare is over.
We practiced our freedom first by kicking and burning the statues and portraits of the hateful idol who stole 35 years from the life of a nation.
For the first time air smelled that beautiful, that was the smell of
freedom.
...
We are in need for every hand that can offer some help. Please pray for us, I know that God listens to mothers' prayers and I call all the women on earth to pray with you for peace in this world.
Your son sacrificed his life for a very noble cause…No, he sacrificed himself for the most precious value in this existence; that is freedom.
His blood didn't go in vain; your son and our brethren are drawing a great example of selflessness. God bless his free soul and God bless the souls of his comrades who are fighting evil. God bless the souls of Iraqis who suffered and died for the sake of freedom.
God bless all the freedom lovers on earth.
From the Battle Hymn of the Republic...
In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free
While God is marching on.
Amen.
Update: She's determined to be a martyr. Not good. I think she's losing it, and so does Dr. Sanity. And the folks over at Kos went totally unhinged at the idea that two people came to counterprotest. Very ugly, that. Seems they had signs with pictures of Casey Sheehan which said he was a hero and thanking him for his sacrifice... God, how terrible. There's a post over there (which I don't expect to stay up long - posts which don't adhere to the party line on Kos tend to get, um, disappeared in short order... and it's not censorship as such, they're just trying to protect their delicate sensibilities from folks who dissent...} that has an interesting comment...
hey Guys let's Be Honest (none / 0)
You are all freaking out because some people used her son's picture in their signs, but you don't think it's wrong for her to go against her dead son's wishes and use his death as a propaganda tool to campaign against a war he believed in?
That is very disrespectful of her to do that to him, whether or not you agree with this war it is immoral to use someone's death as a publicity tool. In fact the rest of her family is against this "impeachment" tour, isn't that correct?
Casey would be rollig over in his grave right now.
So stop shedding crocodile tears, people, its disingenious. You want the counter-protestors to leave her son out of it, but the mother is free to use Casey's death to promote political views which he was opposed to?
THAT is what makes me want to vomit.
by nihilist on Sun Aug 14th, 2005 at 11:51:36 PDT
You might want to look quick - I don't expect Nihilist will be welcome at the Kos camp for long. Doubleplus ungood his badthink is, and soon to be pushed down the memory hole when he is made an unperson there.
Update II: Looks like those free-speech lovin' funboys over at Kos didn't like being called on their hypocracy - they've disappeared that post. Hey, nothin' like free speech, baby! Yeah! Um, as long as it's the 'proper' speech, that is.
God, what an ugly snakepit that place is.
I'm bumping this post to the top.
J.